Proverbs 31:28Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.
Hope you all got to have a great Father's Day weekend with the men in your life! It really is such a special day. Father's play such an important role in a child's life and a good father is such an irreplaceable treasure! I know, at least for me, that it is so easy to take them for granted and not tell them nearly enough how much we appreciate not only all they do for us, but WHO they are FOR us! I consider myself so blessed to be able to say that I had/have a wonderful dad, and I also married a man who became an amazing father!
So yesterday (on Father's Day) I was making a desperate attempt to uphold what has become our yearly tradition of a Father's day photo of Lexi and her daddy. I even had them dress in coordinating outfits for the best possible picture outcome! Unfortunately, her plans for the moment included no such picture. For one, she was being extremely partial to mommy yesterday morning (for whatever reason?), so at first she screamed for me the entire time I was trying to take a picture (didn't make for such a great Father's day photo...lol). Then, she decided she was too busy for EITHER of us and started running in circles around the lobby of the church. I figured, well at least she's happy, maybe let her burn some energy and THEN we can snap a quick shot of her and daddy. She ran and ran and squealed and jumped! Fortunately my husband wasn't easily deterred by her opposition to him, and he started chasing her and playing with her. I was taking picture after picture trying to capture the moment, and trying to get at least one shot the didn't look like a little turquoise blur flying across the frame of the picture! As I started pleading with her to stand still for even just 5 seconds, a friend who was watching all this unfold, snickered and said "Kids don't have a pause button do they?" My reply was "NO!! Definitely not! And they don't have a mute button either!" We both giggled over that a little, but as I watched my precious little girl run around and play with her daddy, the reality of his statement hit me like a brick.
Children do not have a pause button. I can't pause her long enough to even take her picture, and I surely can't pause her long enough to not let grow up on me while my life gets busy.She won't wait on me to make the time for her. I think back on the last two years and I can't even fathom how quickly that time has gone by. It seems like every day now Lexi is saying a new word, or doing something that I had no idea she knew how to do. She is getting big, growing up, and quickly leaving her babyhood behind. It is probably the most bittersweet experience I have ever been through. Each new stage brings so much joy (and sometimes so many trials! lol), and yet it is heartbreaking at the same time! Before having my own child, I never could have imagined what hearing her little voice speak a new word for the first time would do to my heart. I would've thought it crazy to get as I excited as I do when I watch her explore and learn new things. Even the smallest accomplishment seems like the greatest achievement when it is YOUR child!
Isn't it so amazing how God can use something so small and seemingly insignificant to remind us of what is important in life and to change our perspective. God has really been convicting me lately about what it means to be the mommy that I need to be for my sweet girl. He is constantly revealing to me that I CAN NOT do it on my own. I need to be daily seeking His guidance in raising her and in directing her, and he used the innocent statement from a friend to remind me that my time with her is precious. It forced make me ask myself the question, "Am I really making the most of every moment?" Do I savor her and cherish her and relish in the fact that she is everything that she is in this very minute? She is a gift from God Himself! Do I treat her as such?
Before I had kids, I was the person that always thought I would have it all together as a parent. I knew exactly how I would discipline, exactly how I would praise, and if I did everything just right my toddler would NOT be the fit throwing "brat" you see in the mall. They would be sweet and polite and well behaved! I just KNEW that I could accomplish this with my superior parenting plan. I would defiantly scoff at the parents whose kids were laying on the ground having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store and firmly state that my child would NEVER act that way! Hahahahahaha!!! Guess what folks? That is called pride, and the Bible clearly states that if we carry pride with us as a Child of God, He will quickly find a way to humble us.
I stand before you today a humbled woman. Sometimes I joke that God is paying me back for every time I ever judged another parent! Lol... I don't believe that is the way God really works, but I do believe He is teaching me in His kind and loving way, that my judgemental attitude was totally wrong and off base. I have actually LEFT a store in the middle of my shopping because Lexi was throwing such a ridiculous tantrum that it would actually be RUDE to stay. I am now that parent on the receiving end of the pity glances from other parents who have "been there, done that" and the dirty looks from the people that just have no clue, the people that I used to be!!!! Oh, I am so sorry to every mom I ever judged! I truly was ignorant! There is no way to describe the absolute humiliation of having to leave a store because your child's screaming volume has reached such a decibel that your afraid of causing permanent hearing loss in your fellow shoppers (or at least a severe headache). It is in those moments of feeling purely horrified that God has brought back all my haughty words and ugly attitudes to mind, and then humbled my once very prideful heart!
I KNOW that God is using Lexi to teach me such a valuable lesson. If she had fit my perfect mold of what I was expecting, and if she was falling right into my "infallible" plan for parenting, then I would be stealing all the glory of raising her from the Lord and keeping it for myself. His strength is perfected in my weakness, and I know that I can credit Him for any good in her because there are many times I feel like the blind leading the blind when it comes to parenting her.
I said all of this because all of the struggles I have had in my short time as a parent bring me back to the same point. I catch myself wishing sometimes that certain struggles that I have with her will pass quickly, that she will outgrow this stage that is so difficult. The truth is though, that even though she may outgrow certain challenges, they will be replaced with new and different ones, and every time she outgrows a stage and all its hardships, she also outgrows precious moments of her childhood that neither she, nor I will ever get back.
So I want to challenge myself, and all my Mommy friends out there who so graciously took the time to read this. I know for a fact that at every stage, our kids can be so hard. They can be exhausting, and trying, and they will sometimes challenge everything we thought we knew about being a parent, but please be careful not to wish away their childhood! And please don't let life consume you to the point that all of the sudden your infant is in elementary school, or your toddler is leaving for college and you realize that so much of that precious time was wasted. I think back to how many times Lexi has come to me with a book or a toy, and I brush her aside and say "Mommy is busy Lex, go play". Just typing those words makes my stomach ill. God has placed this most fragile and wonderful gift in my hands, and in that moment I am saying that I am too busy to nurture and to cherish her. I pray that I will NEVER allow housework or errands or just the plain old busyness of life to get in the way of purposefully living out the one of the most important roles I will ever have the opportunity to play. I am a mommy before I am a housemaid, an employee, a servant, and even before I am a friend. Please don't think I am devaluing any of those roles that we may play as women. I believe that each of those things are valuable and important, but we will never make more of an impact in the world than we will in our own home. Our mission to "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations" starts underneath our own roof, with the people that God has so meticulously placed in our life and in our care as a wife and as a mom.
Kids don't have a pause button. The best hope we will ever have of freezing them in time is capturing a snapshot or a video, and then months and years later looking back and trying to remember all the sweetness that that moment held. We don't have a parental remote! We can't turn down the volume, hit the mute button, or skip the parts we don't like. We can't control how quickly they grow up, and we certainly can never go back. Once a moment, an hour, or a day is gone, it is gone for good. We never get to go back and relive that time with our kids. Hug them, love them, listen to them! When they just HAVE to tell you a story or want to read a book, take a moment to weigh what is more valuable. Do the dishes HAVE to be finished right this second? Can your friend wait an extra three minutes at the park so that you can really listen to what your child has to say? I know we all still have to live life. That is part of being a mom. We have to figure out that delicate balance of having so much responsibility and just letting go and spending time with our kids, but I think society has taught us that all of the other overwhelming responsibilities of womanhood often outweigh the importance of motherhood. I truly believe that that is NOT the way God designed us to be. We are first HIS children, then our husbands wife, and then a mother to the children he gave us. All those other things in life will wait, but our kids won't.
Our challenge as moms is greater than it has ever been. This world is fighting tooth and nail to rip our families apart, to turn our kids heart's against God and away from us, and to keep us from being the woman that HE has called us to be for our family. Be on your knees! Plead for the hearts of your kids, and then be there for the defining moments that God will use you to shape their lives. Show up to those spiritual appointments, those precious teaching moments when God will use you to impact your child in ways that no one else ever could. We need to treat EVERY moment as if it IS that moment. Challenge yourself to cherish and make the most of the short time you have with your kids, and please pray for me as I challenge myself to do the same.
Live, laugh, cry, hug, listen, tickle, kiss, squeeze, and love every ounce of the childhood in your kids. There may be no rewind, but if we live this way, there can also be no regrets. We can look back one day as empty nesters and stand before our Almighty God with a peace of knowing that we did it His way.
God Bless friends! Comments and feedback are always so appreciated! Please if you read this, I would love to hear from you! Thank you for sharing in my struggles and joining with me to become the women and children of God that He has called us to be!
