It's Not About Me

Hello to all my wonderful friends who take the time to read this blog!

I wanted you all to know that I am so grateful for all the feedback I have gotten! Please leave your comments and feedback either on here, or Facebook, or you can always email me @ cowgirlmommy787@hotmail.com.
I have been wanting so badly to do something for the Lord, and I am kinda starting to feel like this might be part of my ministry. I have been so encouraged by those of you who leave your comments, and those of you who have told me in person that you have read my posts. Even if the only thing I accomplish in this blog is to give God the honor and the glory He deserves for the things He has done in MY life, then I feel like that is enough, but I do pray though that He can reach all of YOU through my words also! I want so badly to be a vessel for the Lord! It would SOOO bless me to know that He would choose to use me to relate to one of you or to really touch on something that you are going through!
I was thinking about all of this earlier, and I was thinking about how much pleasure it has given me to write about the things that God has laid on my heart! It brings me so much more joy than I ever could've imagined! All that being said though, I wanted to make sure that you all knew that this isn't about me! If this ever becomes about me, I know that it won't be worth writing anymore. I pray every time that I write that I will be filled with humility and that pride will never interfere with how God wants to use me.
As I said in my last post, I am more aware of my sinful state of being and my imperfections now than I ever have been in my life. As I grow, more and more of God's light shines into my heart and reveals all the grime that is really there. It is certainly a humbling experience! I am almost fearful of telling you all about how I am growing for fear that you will think that it is my pride speaking. PLEASE KNOW that everything I say comes out of a heart of complete humility! Ephesians 2:4-5 says, "⁴But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. " and then it goes on to say, "⁸For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast. " Nothing I did or can do will get me into Heaven, or even out of my own sin! It is almost embarrassing that God would choose me for this mission of writing to you all. I feel extremely inadequate. I struggle with worrying that my words will fall flat, or be taken offensively, or won't even be read in the first place. I worry that I am going to say the wrong thing or reveal too much about myself or not do the Lord justice for all He has done for me. I feel like I can relate to Moses a little. "God, why would you want to use me? I am filled with the most foolish of all follishness! I am so unworthy!" I honestly feel this way every time I sit down in front of the computer to write. I know that my spelling is probably horrible, and my grammar would make my high school English teacher shake her head in disappointment! I AM so unworthy of this task! I don't know WHY God has called me to it! I am just trying to do my best to obey. I have never had to struggle too much with my pride. I have actually struggled a whole lot more with seeing my worth in Christ than I ever have with my pride, but occasionally the Devil will get sneaky and start whispering things in my ear. A few of you have so graciously encouraged me and complimented me, and in those moments, sometimes I have to double check myself to make sure my pride and my head don't start to swell a little. The truth is though, all I have to do is remind myself that without Christ, I would have nothing, and I would be nothing. He is my everything, and the only reason I am anything is because He is alive in me. I know myself. I know my fleshly heart and I would just about die if you all could see my thoughts, intentions, or motivations sometimes. They are truly shameful. Everything that is good in me comes from the Lord, and I am just ABSOLUTELY grateful that He sees fit to work in me and through me! It is the most exciting and invigorating thing I have ever experienced! I am absolutely overwhelmed by Him! The outpouring of grace and forgiveness that I receive on a daily basis is more than I can wrap my head around! So I just wanted you to know where I am coming from. I wanted you to know that if I have ever sounded prideful that that is not my heart. I am just a struggling Christian who is longing for a closer relationship with my most amazing and awesome Heavenly Father! Every day I mess up, and every day I have to ask for forgiveness, usual for the same things I asked to be forgiven for yesterday! I just can't help but smile though when I think of how willing and quick God is to forgive me and to offer me another chance, and I just can't help but share it with all of you. I hope SO MUCH that each of you can experience the love of Christ as I have been able to in the past few months. Words really can't even do justice to it. I am again reminded of a worship song. The lyrics say something like, It's all about you Jesus And all this is for you For your glory and your fame It's not about me As if you should do things my way You alone are God And I surrender to your will That is how I feel! It's not about me! I NEVER want it to be about me again, because honestly, I was MISERABLE when life was about me. For some reason, we always think that we will be happier when life is about us, but I can tell you from experience that true joy and peace is found in surrendering your life to Christ. There is nothing like it! I want to leave you with a few verses that I am sure you are all familiar with, but they are still a great reminder.
Galatians 6:14
"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
Proverbs 11:2
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Proverbs 18:12
"Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor."

Lord I pray that you keep me humble, because I know the more pride I have, the harder my fall will be when you finally do decide to humble me. I don't want to have to fall hard to have your humility and grace! Please remind me every day of what your word says, and of my need for you! James 1:17 "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow." The good in my life is not from me Lord, but from You and You alone! Thank you for Your goodness and for sharing it with me! In Jesus precious name, AMEN

Thanks so much for reading! I pray that God will bless your lives as richly as He has blessed mine and that you will really feel His presence and feel Him working in your life! God Bless you all!